Special Offer? No, just confusing

At the fantastic time of 01:34, in the morning, I received the three messages above. An intelligent algorithm calculated that in my dream state I would be receptive to the promoted tariff. It must have known that with the REM (rapid eye movement) my mathematical genius is at its peak.

Time to dissect the promotional messages:

Message 1

Use an extra K3.00 of data to qualify for a discount rate. The cost per MB is K0.07 based on the 2GB bundle I purchased If the discount rate of K0.03 was deducted from my current per MB cost the new data rate is K0.04 per MB or is it K0.03 per MB because that is the cost after the discount? The next sentence we have to guess means the out of bundle rate of K1.05 per MB. Using the information in the SMS the out of bundle rate is 13 times more expensive that the 2GB bundle rate. If you not on Browse 4 Eva (as in Eva Mendes?) dial *340*2# to subscribe.

Message 2

I have now spent K5.00 on data, not sure if this was in or out of bundle? I now qualify for the K0.03 per MB tariff. I am glad I have 22.5 hours to enjoy the new rate. Now the logic of the algorithm makes perfect sense!

Message 3

The 160 character limit demon is now unleashed. I have the following messages thrown at me, a subscription code, a tariff name, a monetary amount, a discount percentage, a megabyte and a gigabyte all within the 160 character limit! What does it all mean? If I subscribe to Browse for Eva using *340*2# and use K5.00 on data I qualify for a discount. The discount is 97% of some figure – not yet sure what that is. To further complicate the message I get my 97% discount per megabyte after using K5.00 for 1GB of usage.

MTN, simplify the messages sent out. Leave out the percentages, leave out the Ngwees, they are too difficult!